Why Great Leaders Say “I Don’t Know”

By Dr. Mary Kelly, Economist and Leadership Expert

In leadership, there is a powerful distinction between not knowing and pretending to know.

One builds respect and propels growth. The other builds walls and erodes credibility.

When I first started teaching at the university level, I was cautioned by an older, much wiser professor. He advised, “Never pretend that you know something when you do not. Say you will find out more and get back to them. Then get back to them. Always.”

As someone who works with senior leaders, business owners, and policymakers, I have seen both the not knowers and the pretenders. The ones who succeed long term find more information.

Let us explore why.

The Honest Power of “I Don’t Know”

Not knowing is a temporary, honest state. It is an acknowledgment that you currently lack information or expertise, and it is fixable. It is a launch point for learning, asking, collaborating, and problem-solving.

Fake knowing, however, is a trap. It is a performance fueled by ego or fear, a mask worn to appear infallible. But it is a mask that costs leaders their credibility. Faking knowledge stops growth. It replaces curiosity with defensiveness. It turns conversations into monologues and collaboration into compliance.

In one study by Boston University (2022), teams led by managers who admitted knowledge gaps had 37% higher innovation rates than teams led by “know-it-all” leaders. Why? Because openness creates psychological safety, and psychological safety fuels creativity.

Why So Many Leaders Fall into the Trap

We have conditioned workplace professionals, especially our high performers, to equate credibility with omniscience. And the higher you climb, the harder it becomes to admit what you do not know. So instead, many leaders put on a performance. I call this Certainty Theater.

We use a confident tone and big words and corporate lingo. We nod when we are lost. We delay tough decisions to mask our lack of clarity, or worse, we make decisions based on guesses rather than facts.

And when that happens, the cost of the mistake multiplies:

• Bad decisions based on incomplete understanding.

• Team distrust when inconsistencies surface

• Slowed learning because you stop asking.

• Compounded errors as each guess builds on another wrong decision.

Strategic Humility Is Not Weakness; it is a Superpower.

The most effective leaders I know are not afraid to admit uncertainty. Instead, they are confident in their ability to learn and figure it out. They are strategic with their expertise.

They know:

• Where they need to be the expert (their core role)

• Where they need to ask questions (adjacent roles)

• Where they need to simply listen (emerging or unfamiliar areas).

In doing so, they demonstrate what Harvard Business Review calls “intellectual humility” a proven driver of decision-making quality, learning, and team trust.

A 2023 Cornell University study found that CEOs who regularly sought feedback and expressed uncertainty were rated as 23% more trustworthy and effective by both peers and subordinates.

The Advantages of Leading with Curiosity

When you are confident enough to say, “I don’t know,” here is what you gain:

• Better questions. You shift from protecting your ego to genuinely expanding your understanding.

• More useful answers. People open up more when you are real with them.

• Faster solutions. You skip the script and get to the issue.

• Deeper credibility. Ironically, the person who admits their limits earns more trust.

And here is a surprising benefit: your team becomes more willing to admit their gaps too. You create a culture of learning instead of posturing.

How to Use “I Don’t Know” as a Leadership Tool

So how do we use curiosity effectively?

1. Redefine competence. Being competent means knowing what matters and knowing when to ask for help.

2. Model it. When you admit gaps, you give permission to others.

3. Pair with action. Don’t just say “I don’t know” say, “Let’s figure this out,” or “Who can help us solve this?”

4. Reward inquiry. Praise your team when they ask bold, honest questions even if they reveal uncertainty.

The Line That Changes Everything

In meetings, strategy sessions, or even with customers, there is one phrase that instantly shifts the energy: “I do not know. Can you help me understand?”

That line unlocks trust, transparency, and teamwork.

It tells people you value truth over performance. Growth over ego. Outcomes over optics.

In a world obsessed with having answers, be the person who asks better questions.

Final Thought: Knowing When Not to Know

As leaders, we must embrace a paradox: The more confident you are in your abilities, the more willing you should be to admit what you do not yet know.

Not knowing is temporary.

And in today’s fast-moving world, the smartest person in the room is not the one who knows the most. It is the one who is still learning.

Want more on how to develop confident leadership, build trust, and create high-performing teams? Explore the tools in my Leader’s Resource Vault at www.ProductiveLeaders.com/2025-Success.