How to Compartmentalize When Difficulty Hits: Staying Strong, Present, and Focused

By Dr. Mary Kelly, Economist, Leadership Strategist, and Time-Management Realist

Right now, I am writing this from my mother’s hospital room. My 93-year-old mom is resting, and the doctors are not particularly encouraging. There is a steady stream of nurses, tests, and difficult conversations. My heart is heavy, my mind is racing, and yet, in just a few days, I will be standing on a stage giving a presentation to hundreds of people who are counting on me to deliver clarity, inspiration, and energy.

People ask, “Mary, how do you do it? How do you switch gears and show up fully for both of these vastly separate roles?

The answer is compartmentalization — a skill that is not about ignoring emotions or pretending everything is fine. It is about deciding where to focus your attention in each moment so you can be fully present for what matters most, whether that is advocating for a loved one, preparing for a critical presentation, or simply taking a deep breath for yourself.

Here is how to practice and strengthen this life-changing skill, especially when crises surround you.

1. Delay the Emotional Response

Compartmentalization does not mean you shut off your emotions. It means controlling your response in the moment.

If you need to, take a moment to acknowledge how you feel:

• “I’m worried about the outcome right now.”
• “I’m sad.”
• “This is overwhelming.”

Simply naming the emotion helps your brain process it. Even a brief moment of recognition can bring calm, so you do not carry those unspoken feelings into your next task.

Pro Tip: Use a proven breathing technique: Close your eyes, inhale deeply for four counts, hold for four, exhale for four, and repeat three times. It signals that you are safe, even if everything around you feels chaotic.

2. Decide What Needs Your Attention Right Now

When everything feels urgent, nothing gets your full attention. Compartmentalization starts with choosing what matters in this moment.

I tell myself:

“Right now, my mother needs me, so this is where I will focus. My presentation will get my attention later.”

When it is time to switch to work mode:

“Right now, I’m preparing for my audience.”

This decision is powerful because it sets boundaries – to show up fully for people when they need you most.

3. Trust Your Preparation

When a crisis strikes, you do not have the mental space to “wing it.” This is why preparation matters so much.

I have spent years refining my content. Teaching at the university level for decades was helpful because 19-year-olds are exceptionally good at providing feedback when they do not like something. I know my content, my stories, and my audience. That preparation is what allows me to show up with confidence, even when my mom’s health is precarious.

If you have done the work ahead of time, trust your preparation. In the military we say, “train like you fight.’  You do not need to rehearse endlessly or stress over every detail. Your preparation is the safety net.

4. Use Mental Anchors to Switch Gears

Sometimes, you need a clear signal to your brain: “We’re changing focus now.”

Create a simple ritual or cue that helps you transition:

• A specific playlist you listen to.
• A favorite ritual, like the cough drop before every stage event that signals that it is time to rally the energy and focus on the audience.
• Saying a phrase to yourself, like “I’ve got this.”

These small, intentional actions tell your brain, “It’s time to shift.” Over time, your brain will respond automatically, making it easier to move between roles.

5. Limit What You Let In

When you are in crisis mode, protect your mental bandwidth. You do not need to consume every update, email, or news headline.

Ask yourself: “Does this need my attention right now?”

If the answer is no, set it aside:

• Turn off unnecessary notifications.
• Delegate decisions when possible.
• Politely tell others, “I can’t focus on this today, but I’ll revisit it on Friday.”

Your energy is finite. Guard it.

6. Give Yourself Flexibility

You are human. Some days you will navigate the balance perfectly. Other days, you cry in the bathroom, forget where you put your keys, or you struggle to fall asleep. It is all part of it.

Compartmentalization is a practice, not perfection. The goal is not to be unshakable. The goal is to show up with intention and resilience, even when life feels impossible.

You are allowed to set boundaries, you are allowed to prioritize, and you are allowed to take care of yourself in the process.

Right now, my focus is on my mother. When I leave this hospital room and step onto that stage, my focus will shift entirely to my audience. That does not mean I stop caring about what is happening here. It means I choose to be fully present in each role, one moment at a time.

If you’re facing a crisis, I want you to know this:
You are stronger than you think.
You are more capable than you realize.
And you can learn to compartmentalize — not by shutting down, but by showing up fully for the people and work that need you most.

Compartmentalization is about creating space to bring your whole self to the moments that matter.